What is the fastest thing in this world

Four guys, from Harvard, Yale, MIT and SANTA SINGH from Punjab
University were to be interviewed for a prestigious job. One common
Question was asked to all 4 of them.

INTERVIEWER: WHICH IS THE FASTEST THING IN THE WORLD?

YALE guy: Its light, Nothing can travel faster than light

HARVARD Guy: It’s the Thought; b’cos thought is so fast it comes instantly in
Your mind.

MIT guy : Its Blink, you can blink and its hard to realize you blinked

SANTA SINGH : Its Loose motion

INTERVIEWER : (Shocked to hear Santa’s reply, asked) "WHY"?

SANTA SINGH: Last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed and I got the
Worst stomach cramps, and before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON
THE LIGHTS, it was over!!!!
Bolo tarara…..

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An Interview

Honest answers

1. Why did you apply for this job?
I have applied for many jobs along with this one and it’s just that you called me first.
2. Why do you want to work for this company?
I have to work for some company, whoever gives me a job, I don’t have any specific company in mind.
3. Why should I hire you?
You have to hire some one, you may give me a try.
4. What would you do if this happened?
Well, it depends on my mindset and mood in that situation…
5. What is your biggest strength?
I dare to join any company who pays me well, without thinking about the fate of company.
6. What is your biggest weakness?
Girls
7. What was your worst mistake and how did you learn from it?
Joining my earlier company and I learnt that I need to switch my job to get more money, so I am here today.
8. What accomplishments in your last position are you most proud of?
Had I accomplished any in my last position, why do I need to change my job? I could demand more and stay there.
9. Describe a challenge that you faced and how did you overcome it?
Biggest challenge is answering the question "why are you looking for a change" and I started blabbering irrelevantly to overcome that.
10. Why did you leave/ are you leaving your last job?
For the same reason why you left your previous job.
11. What do you want from this job?
No work and good hikes.
12. What are your career goals and how do you plan to achieve them?
Making more money and for that I keep switching jobs every two years.
13. What do you know about our company?
I knew you will ask me this question. So, I’ve gone through your website.
14. What salary are you expecting?
Well, no one will change his job for the same salary, hence, give me 20% extra than what I am getting right now. I know you will bargain on whatever I ask.So I have already hiked my current salary by 50%.

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Santa’s interview

Santa’s interview

Santa Singh is called for an interview in some firm. He lands there on time. He is immediately hauled inside in front of the interviewing officer.
Officer looks at Santa Singh then goes through his certificates and then starts asking him questions.
Following is the transcript :
O : Mr. Santa Singh, after seeing your qualifications & credentials I would like to ask you only some simple questions.If you can answer those then you are selected. First we will start with some opposites
S : Yes Sir.
Officer started asking questions
O : Above
S : Below
O : Front
S : Back
O : Left
S : Right
O : Male
S : Female
O : Ugly (means Next in Punjabi)
S : Pichhly (means Previous in Punjabi)
O : Ugly…U-G-L-Y( Officer spells it)
S : Pichhly…P-I-C-H-H-L-Y( Our Sardar also spells it)
O : U…..G…..L …… Y…..(Officer shouts)
S : P ….. I ….. C ….. H ……. H …… L ….. Y…… Our Sardar also shouts) Officer is now angry.
O : Get out
S : Come in.
O : Quiet please.
S : Talk please.
O : You are rejected.
S : I am selected
O : Oh God!
S : Oh Devil!
…. And This is how Santa Singh got his job.

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Windows Live Messenger 9 Beta is leaked; Download Here

Blah Blah… i’ m sure you have heard a few things about the new beta of WLM 9
You know MS people like leaked [beta] stuff and somebody will always leaked whatever is out there..
So if the beta gets suspended.. who cares…
…………………………………..

Changes in this build
The major feature changes in Windows Live Messenger 9.0 Beta are:
* Sign-in and messaging in multiple locations – You asked for it, now you have it! You can now sign into Messenger from more than one computer at a time, up to four at once. Simply sign into Messenger from one computer, install Messenger on another computer and sign in using the same account. (Only works if all computers are running Messenger 9.0 Beta. Currently enabled only for users whose Windows Live ID country is US or Canada.)
* Signature sounds � Pick your own personal sound that your contacts will hear when you sign into Messenger (only works if you and your contacts have Messenger 9.0 Beta).
* Per contact sounds – Pick unique sounds for each of your contacts. You will be able to tell from across the room who is sending you a message.
* SPAM Reporting – If users send you unsolicited messages or invitations that you consider spam, you can block them and report them as spammers. If you report a user as a spammer, the messenger service will collect this data and put appropriate restrictions on the spammer accounts. All reports of spammers are kept confidential.
* Animated Display Pictures Show your moves! Messenger now supports animated .gif files as display pictures.
* Link in Personal Status Message URLs in Personal Status Messages are hot and clickable in the Messenger contact list.
* Behind the Scenes Changes � Architectural changes that modified how things work but shouldn�t have changed how things look
o Changes to sign-in, connectivity, presence, sending text IM�s, voice & video features
o Windows Live Contacts Server wlcomm.exe runs in the background to keep your contacts� information up-to-date and helps Messenger sign you in faster

http://cid-488741f497c80c2b.skydrive.live.com/embedrowdetail.aspx/ApplicationsAndSoftwares/WindowsLiveMessenger9Beta.zip

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Customer Care In 2050

CUSTOMER CARE IN 2050

Operator : "Thank you for calling Pizza Galaxy Kholi . May I have your…"

Customer: "Hello, can I order.."

Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?"

Customer: "It’s eh…, hold…….. ..on….. .889861356102049 998-45-54610"

Operator : "OK… you’re… Mr Singh and you’re calling from 43rd Floor, Akask View Apt, Cantt Road, ……..
Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is
0142662566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?"

Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"

Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza…"

Operator : "That’s not a good idea Sir"

Customer: "How come?"

Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood
pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"

Customer: "What?… What do you recommend then?"

Operator : "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You’ll like it"

Customer: "How do you know for sure?"

Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes"
from the National Library last week Sir"

Customer: "OK I give up… Give me three family size ones then, how
much will that cost?"

Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The
total is Rs2249.99"

Customer: "Can I pay by! credit card?"

Operator : "I’m afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card
is over the limit and you owe your bank Rs10,720.55 since October last year.
That’s not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir."

Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw
some cash before your guy arrives"

Operator : "You can’t Sir. Based on the records, you’ve reached your
daily limit on machine withdrawal today"

Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I’ll have the cash ready.
How long is it gonna take anyway?"

Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can’t wait you can always
come and collect it on your scooter.. ."

Customer: " What!"

Operator : "According to the details in system, you own a Lambretta 1969 Vintage Scooter,…registra tion number USE 8999…"

Customer: " ????"

Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"

Customer: "Nothing… by the way… aren’t you giving me that 3 free
bottles of cola as advertised?"

Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you’re
also diabetic…. … "

Customer: #$$^%&$@$%^

Operator : "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 11th Nov 1986 you were convicted for using abusive language on a policeman who stopped you for driving through a one way, in fact you were driving a 1973 Ambassador bearing registeration number UTD 4267…….

Customer: [Faints] ……

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Valuable Banking

Valuable Banking

Rajiv and Mona are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to
celebrate their 40th anniversary.
Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, " Ladies
and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news.
Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency
landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able
to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued
and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!"
Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the
island.
An hour later Rajiv turns to his wife and asks, "Mona, did we pay our Rs
5lakh deposit cheque yet to Bank?"
" No, sweetheart," she responds.
Rajiv, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Mona, did we pay
our Bank Master card yet?"
"Oh no! I’m sorry. I forgot to send the cheque," she says.
"One last thing, Mona. Did you remember to send cheques for the auto loan
to them too this month?" he asks.
"Oh, forgive me, Rajiv," begged Mona. "I didn’t send that one, either."
Rajiv grabs her and gives her the biggest hug in 40 years. Mona pulls away
and asks him, "So, why did you hug me?"
Rajiv answers, "They’ll find us!!!!"

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Miracle Of Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) حضرت محمدۖ کا معجزہ

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Benazir is true leader of Pakistan Because:

Benazir is true leader of Pakistan Because:

 

 

She Traveled 12km in 9 hours

and after Bomb blast, 12km in 9 minutes

 

Wao What a fast President

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Sardar is Really Sick

Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
“Me sick, no work”
Boss SMS back:
“When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
“Me ok, ur wife very sweet”

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May I Ask You A Question?

May i ask u one question? U should answer only yes or no..
Reply must…
Here is the question….
"Does everyone know u are a fool???".

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